Please, won't you be... my neighbor?

(My apologies to those who read the first portion of this post before it was posted in it's entirety. I inadvertently published this post before it was completed.)

There are probably several of you who read my blog on a regular basis, but are virtually strangers to me. Everything you know about me can be found somewhere on my blog… and even then you probably question whether I’m exaggerating my own experiences for entertainment purposes. I’m about ready to give you another nugget of information about me. I work for Adult Probation and Parole as a supervising agent… that really means I’m a glorified babysitter who gets paid poorly, but has an above average benefits package. I deal with criminals every day. My caseload consists mainly of drug-related offenses (ie. Drug possession, drug dealing, burglaries and thefts that are committed to pawn stolen items for drug money, forgeries of checks to get money for drugs, forgeries of prescriptions in order to get prescription drugs… you get the idea). But I also have regular contact with sex offenders.

I have a difficult time with the sex offender population, like most people, but I’m in a unique position. I’m forced to have professional contact with them and don’t have the luxury of avoiding them altogether like everyone else.

While I was at work last week, my wife called me and said she was in the middle of perusing the Sex Offender Registry. She located an individual who lives right around the corner. In fact, his backyard runs perpendicular to my own back yard at almost a 90-degree angle. She told me his photo wasn’t coming up so I took the liberty of looking him up on my work computer. Sure enough, this was the guy who had initiated several conversations with me at the back of my property over the past seven days and had even shown up on my doorstep to talk about my dog enclosure. His offense: Sodomy on a Child.



Well you can imagine our frustration at the prospect of sharing a property line (about 10 feet) with a registered sex offender… though I’ve said many times “It’s the sex offenders who’ve never been caught who people should be MOST worried about”. Nevertheless, I decided that measures needed to be taken to protect my family and myself. I told my wife I would tell him to stay away from my house and my family the next time I saw him. She didn’t like the idea of this kind of confrontation, but she knew it was necessary.

If you know me, you know I only fear two things: Confrontation and rejection. (This was the main reason I had such a hard time dating.) It’s because of these two fears that people are surprised when they find out what I do for a living. They’re even more surprised if they ever find occasion to witness me doing my job. They’re often astounded that the fun-loving Cameron they toasted marshmallows with on Saturday could be so confrontational and vicious with a convicted felon… often handcuffing and swearing with very little sympathy or mercy. Because of my career, I thought it would be a breeze to speak my mind to this violator of children. I was especially frustrated that this “guy” had already found a reason to ring my doorbell, knowing I have small children.

Two nights ago I heard my dog barking at the back of my yard. I walked out there expecting to find a cat or raccoon making faces at my dog, knowing she was tethered to the ground. Instead I found this S.O. doing something to the fence separating our yards at the back of my property, deep in the trees and shrubbery that is growing uncontrollably. (I discovered later that it was nothing malicious. He was trying to untangle some branches of his tree that had grown through my fence.)

I called him over to me and initiated the beginning of a surprisingly awkward, but completely necessary conversation.

Cameron: "Hey, AJ, c'mon over here for a second."
AJ: While walking away, "You didn't do what I suggested with your dog over here. I see that you-"
C: "AJ, forget about my dog. Come over here for a second. I need to talk to you about something."
A: (still on the other side of my fence) What's up?
C: I wanted to let you know that I work for the Department of Corrections. I'm not sure you knew that.
A: (face drops very noticeably) No, I didn't.
C: Well I came across some information the other day... I think you know what I'm talking about.
A: (sheepishly) Yeah.
C: I know it's an old offense-
A: It was in '85 and I went down in '86-
C: Let me finish, AJ. I was gonna tell you that it looks like you've been keeping your nose clean since your offense. Either that or you haven't been caught.
A: No. I haven't done anything since then. I have more eyes on me than the President of the United States.
C: I don't doubt it, but listen, AJ... I know it's an old offense and it appears as though you've been doing what you're supposed to do. In fact, I noticed you came in in January for your yearly registration.
A: Yup, I've been doing everything I'm supposed to do. More than half the people on the block know about this and I've got more eyes on me than the President-
C: I know, AJ, but... and I'm trying not to sound rude, but I have kids... and nowadays you can't be too safe, you know?
A: (looking slightly embarrassed) I understand.
C: I think it would be in both of our best interests if you kept your distance from my house, my yard, and my family, ok?
A: I understand. But if you ever need help cleaning up this jungle you have back here-
C: You know what, AJ? I'm not interested in your help. I have enough on my plate near the front of my yard. I appreciate the offer, but I think you need to keep your distance.
A: I understand. (begins making unrelated small talk about cleaning the gutters in public streets)
C: I'm going inside now, AJ.
A: Oh. Ok then.

I felt like the conversation was sufficient. I also told my wife to let me know if he made any effort whatsoever to talk to her or the kids. If he does, I'll go to his tin shack and explain the seriousness of his situation... with a little more force. Maybe I'll take my partner over there when we're all geared up. But hopefully that's the end of it. Hopefully.