That's what I get... I guess.

My wife and I own a couple of pretty crappy cars. They're both really old and hammered, but we don't complain much because they get us where we need to go and get decent gas mileage. It's days like today that having cruddy cars really pays off. We went to see a movie at Century 16 in Salt Lake today. We dropped the kids off at my sister-in-laws house and we went on our Valentine's Day date... 2 days late.

So my wife is 7.5 months pregnant and wasn't really in the mood to walk a great distance and the parking lot was completely packed. We drove around for while looking for a parking spot and didn't see anything. Then I noticed a really nice, new car that had parked about 5 feet away from a snow bank and was straddling two parking spaces. I got pretty pissed because he didn't leave anywhere NEAR enough room for a car between him and the snow bank and it didn't look like there was enough room between his car and one next to it. Then my wife says, "I think you can squeeze in honey." I tell my wife to jump out because it's obvious that there won't be enough room for her to get out once I squeeze in. So she jumps out and I ease my way into the parking space. I purposely parked closer to the "irritating" car than I did to the other one so as not to bother BOTH owners.

Once I had parked, I got out of the car and stepped back to observe my talent. I had about 2 feet of room on one side and was successful in leaving about an inch and a half on the other side, pretty much gauranteeing that this dude was gonna do some sort of damage to my car when he returned and discovered what I'd done. My wife and I chuckled as we envisioned this savage realizing he has no choice but to climb through the passengers side of his brand new vehicle and crawl over the console to get to the drivers seat. I purposely locked all my doors and wrote down this douches license plate just in case he did irreparable damage. My wife and I decided we could live with a key scratch down the side of the car or even a huge dump on the hood of our car. We didn't really care cause our cars are just a tad better than the Flintstones' car.

Imagine our surprise when we returned to our station wagon after the movie to discover that crotch bag had done THIS to our car:




We laughed the whole way home as we pictured this dude trying to figure out a way to get us back and this is all he could come up with. It was a great date.