Del Monte

The other day Betsy bought a case of Del Monte canned peaches. Usually the peaches are scrum-diddly-umptious... but for some reason, the first can of peaches was completely nasty. Betsy said that she could squish every peach against the roof of her mouth and it would simply dissolve. I laughed a bit as she poured most of the can into Sharona's food dish... even though I was crying a little bit on the inside since each can equates to approximately $1.30.

The next day Betsy opened another can of Del Monte canned peaches and I heard her groan while I was checking out all my friends blogs on the computer. She said something about how upsetting it was that she couldn't enjoy the peaches like she usually does. This time I asked to try a peach before she gave them to Sharona. When I put the peach in my mouth, it was so extremely soft, I wondered how it was able to even keep the shape of a sliced peach. It tasted like a peach, thankfully, but the texture really threw me off. It was almost as disturbing as the sound of cauliflower squeaking when you bite it (which is why I don't eat cauliflower).

Well, since I was already on the computer, I clicked the Google link on my "favorites" bar and then typed in "Del Monte canned peaches". About three clicks later I was plugging in my personal information and began typing about my less-than-ideal experience... explaining in great detail the grotesque nature of the peaches, but countered my complaint with extremely flattering comments about our more common enjoyment of Del Monte products.

While I was typing up my Verbal Kung-fu, I remembered how often I would do this sort of thing when I was a teenager. I would be eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes and reading the side and back of the cereal box for the hundredth time because we couldn't afford the newspaper in my house and I wasn't old enough to read the Ensign (not because my parents forbade it... only because it was boring), and I'd stumble across a phone number underneath the words "Questions or comments, call".

I grabbed our cordless phone while pouring my second bowl of yummy, sugar-coated, flakes with the intent of simply talking to a representative about my cereal consumption as well as my personal opinions regarding their product. I figured they were used to getting complaints... cause, really, why else would you call? I decided I would make their day by just offering an innocent "comment" or asking a simple "question" about their product. On this particular occasion, I asked how they were able to cook such delicious sweetness into each and every flake. She prodded me as to why I was asking such a question. I struggled to think of a reason other than "Cause nobody else is around for me to talk to" and ended up with something like "cause every once in a while I stumble across a naked flake and I can't help but wonder what went wrong". Well she instantly asked for my name and address so she could send me a coupon for a free box of Frosted Flakes. I tried to explain that I wasn't unhappy with the quality of the product, but she wouldn't hear it.

It wasn't five days later I had my own personal 21 oz box of Frosted Flakes. The same thing worked with Strawberry Quick, by the way.

I got this letter in the mail the other day along with a check for $7. Thank you Del Monte. Even though you addressed the letter to a "Ms", the facts remain... you nourish my family and enrich our lives... everyday.