2?

It's kind of weird because I thought I wouldn't be as nervous for this kid since I've already done it twice... but I was sooooo wrong. I've been crapping myself for the last few days. Even though Betsy isn't technically due until April 6th, the truth is Tyton was 3 weeks early and Boston was 2 weeks early. So Season* could come around the middle of March and it wouldn't be a surprise.

Well, we went to a prenatal appointment yesterday. Most of it was the same old-same old, but it was also the first time since the first couple of visits that they do a check of the cervix. Well, they told us that Betsy is dialated to a 2 and she's 50% effaced. Now that doesn't necessarily mean that Season is coming tomorrow, but it COULD.

I about shat myself. I live in Ogden and work in Salt Lake (about 45 minutes without traffic) so if Betsy's water breaks or something and I'm at work... geez. I'm really scared. On top of all this the doctor says something vague like, "Don't have this baby for at least two weeks, ok?" Like we have a great amount of control over the situation. Criminy.

So I laid awake until about 1am last night/this morning trying to figure out what our plan should be, and I think I got it figured out. I told Betsy to make sure she let me know if she was feeling different. She was reluctant at first because she didn't want me to panic and come home early every time she didn't feel well... because honestly, she doesn't feel well and all sorts of bizarre things are happening to her body everyday that "don't feel right". So then I explained the next phase of my plan: I told her to rate how different she was feeling on a scale of 1 to 10. If it's a 1, then she just farted unexpectedly or something. If it's a 2, then maybe her back hurts in a different spot than normal. If it's a 3, then maybe she's feeling some peculiar pressure going on in her belly... and so on. All the way to 10, which means the baby is crowning. If she uses this scale as it was intended then I can decide whether I need to leave work based on her rating (and she doesn't need to tell my WHY she's chosen a particular rating... just what the number is).

I also told her that I would rather leave work early every day than not be available to take my own wife to the hospital when the time comes. I am really just hoping that it can happen like it does in the movies, you know? Like, I'm just laying there peacefully in bed next to Betsy. She tries to get comfortable a few times and then sits up in bed and gets a surprised look on her face for a few seconds. Then she'll nudge me and say, "Honey? Honey? It's time." I'll mumble and say something like "Time for what?" Then she'll whisper softly, "It's time to have a baby." Then I'll push the pillow closer to my face and say, "Ok. That's nice" followed by an immediate realization that it's time to go to the hospital. Then I'll jump out of bed and say, "WHAT? IT'S TIME TO HAVE THE BABY?" I'll stumble around the room trying to get dressed, hopping on one leg while trying to get my other shoe on, and grab the bag that's been pre-packed while quietly repeating my mental checklist of things to remember. Betsy will be sitting on the bed smiling sweetly while calmly watching my humorous antics (conveniently not having contractions). I'll get halfway out of the driveway before I realize I've forgotten my own laboring wife. I'll sprint back inside and run to the bedroom only to find Betsy still sitting calmly waiting for me to help her out of bed and to the car.

You know what's probably going to happen, though, is we'll go to the Dr. next Monday and they'll say, "Well, you're dialated to a 5 so let's just schedule you to come back at 6 am tomorrow and we'll start you."
And I'll look back at the last month and think, "I had diarrhea for 5 weeks for nothing."

* Yes. Her name is Season.