"Just Don't Be Mean..."

Tyton is in kindergarten. He has about 20 or so kids in his class and Tyton is one of the smartest and funniest kids in his class. So... pretty much the complete opposite
of me when I was in school.

He's enrolled in a Charter school and it requires a certain number of volunteer hours each month by the parents so I've had the opportunity to get to know his classmates more than my parents ever got to know my own classmates when I was little.

The other day I went with Tyton to one of his extracurricular activities with his peers. Every time we saw one of his female classmates, I'd hear them yell, "Tyton! Hey Tyton!" We'd both look toward them and she'd wave with a huge smile on her face. Nobody smiled at me like that until I was 17. Tyton would smile shyly and wave back. A few times I actually sensed the girls fathers glaring at Tyton and I... kinda like they were mentally preparing for 10 years from now when Ty takes advantage of his daughter.

The saddest and most entertaining part is, every time this would happen I'd lean down to Tyton and whisper in his ear, "Who's that?" Every time he'd answer, "She's in my class." Then I'd ask, "What's her name?" He'd shrug his shoulders every single time. He has no idea who most of the girls are in his class, but I got the distinct impression that they ALL know who he is. What a stud.

So now here's the dilemma. Tyton has a kid in his class who is very very slow. My wife and I helped out with P.E. a couple of weeks ago and it was the first time I'd seen this kid in action. The students were doing somersaults on a color mat and when it was this kids turn he would do one somersault and then rest for 15 full seconds before doing another one. I thought maybe he was just dizzy and needed to reorient himself, but even if that was the case... it's still sad. He's worse than Paul Pheiffer on The Wonder Years. Betsy and I have been wondering what kind of advice to give to Tyton.

Last Friday when I picked Tyton up from school, he told me about how this classmate of his was standing in front of the class doing his show-and-tell (which, sadly enough, was a McDonalds Happy Meal toy) when a different classmate yelled "It's leaking!" referring to the toy. Well, unfortunately, the toy wasn't leaking. The boy was wetting his pants.

Geez. That poor kid. Ultimately, Betsy and I have told Tyton that he doesn't need to try to to be his best friend or anything as long as he's never mean to him. We've just been trying to stress to Tyton that it's important to never ever be mean. We thought briefly about trying to get Tyton to befriend him, but I don't think six is old enough to feel that kind of pressure. But maybe it is. Maybe he's old enough to accept that much responsibility. But I, personally, think Tyton should first be able to swim, do a front flip on a trampoline, or at the very least open his own GoGurt without help before he's burdened with trying to be friends with someone he isn't naturally drawn to.