Since I didn't have enough material (or time) for the "100 things you don't know about me" blog post, I decided to put my own twist on the information. I hope it's not too boring.95% of the time I eat a Hot Pocket, I scald the roof of my mouth.
95% of the time I can wake myself up from a nightmare if I don't like the direction it's going.
95% of the time I'm arguing with someone, the only reason I win is because I refuse to back down from my position and they get bored.
95% of Keanu Reeves' movies totally blow.
95% of Christopher Reeve's movies kick "A".
95% of the time I fold the toilet paper.
95% of the profanities I say are said for fun and not because I'm angry or frustrated.
95% of my time I spend at work is spent doing things other than actual "work".
95% of the time I ride the metal cart all the way to my car when I'm done shopping... even if I don't have any of my kids with me.
95% of the gas used in my VW Golf is spent driving to Layton to see movies with my best friend.
95% of my enamel has been slowly worn away and is now considered "filling".
95% of the time I'm not in the mood for dessert.
95% of the hair on my body can be found on my legs and in my butt crack.
95% of the church hymns I sing in Sacrament Meeting are really only lip-synced.
95% of fellow officers and agents I work with say "supposably" instead of "supposedly" and use "seen" instead of "saw" ("I seen him driving fast.")
95% of our home computer paper is spent printing off digital coloring books from PlayhouseDisney.com.95% of my daily liquid consumption is in the form of Dr. Pepper.
95% of my wardrobe never gets worn and, instead, sits in the closet wishing they didn't have a collar so they could be included in all the fun.
95% of the times I cry, it has something to do with my enjoyment of being a father.
95% of the time I'm happy with the size of my "junk".
95% of the time, I'm too lazy to answer my phone if it's further away than arms reach.
95% of people doing the same job as me, make more money than I do.
95% of my poops resemble spaghetti in length and circumference (not color or taste).95% of the time I watch the movies My Life, The Cure, An American Tail, or Life is Beautiful, I cry like a baby.
95% of the time I climb more than 30 stairs, I need to stop and rest.
95% of the time I can spell a word correctly that I've never heard before.
95% of the stories I tell have at least some form of exaggeration or untruth to make them more interesting.
I'm thinking about following up this blog post with a post called "5%". It will go through this same list of items, but focus on the remaining 5% instead.
11 comments:
Just remember ladies, that 95% of hair on his legs and in his butt crack belong to me. I know you all want him even more then before, but hes mine all mine!
Cameron, you work in Ogden you cant expect correct english. "seen" "saw"...I have emailed people up there, all I can say is WOW!
Betsy, you are too funny!! and cameron ditto on the Dr. Pepper one.
~Cristina
If your last percentage is correct, I'm left to believe all the other ones are exaggerated as well.
I like your take on the 100 things. Very entertaining.
I hear you on the Hot Pockets...
I don't know if you've seen it, but Jim Gaffigan has a pretty good comedy routine all about Hot Pockets:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SNiDTNE_KA
-Nathan
youre hillarious!
95% of the time I wake up from a nap after 6 PM, I'm 95% confused as to whether it's AM or PM.
And here I thought you were kidding about crying during "An American Tale"...... :)
95% of the time I love your blog, the other 5% of the time it makes me sick (usually when you talk about poo) :)
The poo isn't your fault, its because of the metamucil you had to start taking at a young age! I bet in the next life they will be rock solid!
I thought your poo looked like spaghetti because of the size of the hole it came out of, that's why mine looks like an alan wrench!
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