Homework

I don't know why I thought this was so funny. This is Tyton's first packet of homework. He sat at the table this afternoon and did about 10 pages since he decided not to do it during the week and it's due tomorrow (I wonder who he takes after).

The instructions are to circle all of the letter S's on the page. I had to read Tyton the instructions, but he took them VERY seriously even though he missed a couple of them.

He did it in pencil so it's hard to make out all the circles. You may need to click on the photo to blow it up big enough to see.

Tee Hee

When I was growing up, my dad had a lot of funny sayings that he thought were intelligent and original... but to his children, well... they were just ridiculous. Whenever we'd make fun of him for the things he'd say, he always say the same thing in rebuttal (which ended up turning into another avenue for mockery). While all of his offspring were laughing and making fun of him, he'd shake his head, sigh and say to himself "So easily entertained."

Those words popped into my head when I logged into my blog the other night and saw this:



I giggled silently to myself when I saw the Hit Counter number.

Hee Hee. "Boob". It really doesn't take much to entertain me.

Windy Helmet Tongs

As I was downloading the photos off our camera today I noticed we seemed to be lacking on available memory on our memory stick. I couldn't figure it out since I had already downloaded all the photos. Then I realized there were a ton of videos that were stored on the camera. It's a pretty roundabout way to access them, but I finally transferred all the videos from the camera to my computer. I've included three of them for your viewing pleasure.

This first one is Tyton narrating the wind from the storm that swept through on Monday. This was his first video, but I think he did a pretty good job.



Boston got a helmet and pads for his birthday. This is him showing them off. In case you don't speak three-year-old... his first sentence is "This is my helmet!"



Betsy called me into the kitchen two nights ago and asked me to videotape the boys making Season laugh. They're dancing around with tongs and speaking gibberish at the top of their lungs. If you don't have kids and want to know what it's like, hook up all the available speakers in your house, turn up the volume as loud as it will go and then play the video on a loop for about 12 hours (except you, John, because doing that would probably make you cry).

VP

I'm not a political guru by any means. In fact, it's only been in the last few years that I've even been slightly interested in what goes on in our country. But I found out today that Sarah Palin has been chosen by McCain to be the VP candidate. I had no idea who Sarah Palin was until today. I still don't know a whole lot about her, but I know one thing. She's hot.

I know it shouldn't matter how attractive she is, but c'mon! Why would anyone choose to vote for anyone besides a McCain/Sarah ticket? Sarah has a little bit of feminism coursing through her veins, which I'm sure bodes well with all the female voters. She was voted Miss Wasilla and ran for Miss Alaska, which will definitely influence a great many (straight) male voters.

Before you call me any names, let me paint a picture for you. Most of you have probably seen the movie Deep Impact.
It stars Morgan Freeman as the President of the United States. In the movie they discover an asteroid (or meteor or whatever) is headed straight at earth and most of us will die... except for a select few who have been chosen to live in underground caves for years, maybe decades, to ensure that "life will go on".

Now imagine sitting at home watching TV and that beeping sound starts, indicating a message from The Emergency Broadcast System is coming on. You think it's going to be another inconveniently timed "test", when all of a sudden, you see Obama sitting in a chair behind his desk in the Oval Office. He breaks all kinds of bad news to the country. Maybe it's an asteroid. Maybe it's a plague that's taking over the world. Maybe it's World War III. You'll be in a panic, most likely.

Now envision Sarah Palin sitting in that chair (since McCain will have long since died of old age). She's talking about monkeys or something. You hear her mention the word "outbreak", but all you can think is "Man... she's smokin'."

When I think about voting in November, that's what I think about. We know bad things are going to happen in our country and in our world. Who do I want to be the one telling me all the bad news? Obama? Or sweet, sweet, Sarah?

I choose Sarah.


Oh yeah... and McCain.

Captain Underpants

There are a lot of reasons why having kids is fun, but having a couple of boys make it so much more enjoyable. There's something about playing with them while they're doing "boy" things that really brings out the kid in me. Actually, now that I think about it... most of the things I do are childish so it would be more accurate to say that my JOB actually brings out the ADULT in me.

I've been reading Captain Underpants to my boys for about a year and there's something about the way the author writes that makes my stomach hurt a little bit with jealousy. There are five or six different books in the Captain Underpants series and it's obvious the author has warmed up to his audience of young boys as the series progresses. I find myself laughing aloud at some things the author chooses to write and I'm pretty sure the humor goes over the head of most school-age youth.

I've chosen to share a couple of examples and I hope they substantiate my claims. I actually tried to read these pages silently as I was doing this post and it's not as entertaining. So, if it's not too much to ask, read these pages out loud. Close your office door if you're embarrassed. If you're in a cubicle, then read these pages loud enough that your co-workers can hear you. I have a feeling they'll be just as entertained as you are... and for some reason, saying all of these descriptive words aloud is much more fun.

Correctional Confabulations

So I'm sitting at work the other day. I have appointments lined up all day long at 10 minute intervals. I go up into the check-in area and call back my 1030 appointment. She comes back with an attractive female accomplice. The girl I supervise is not attractive in the least. On a scale of 1-10 (with a "1" being a retarded midget corpse) this girl is about a "3". Her friend, however, is at least an 8... maybe an 8.5.

They come back to my office and I ask my probationer how she got to my office, since I know she doesn't have a license and driving a vehicle would be a violation of her probation. She motions to this hottie and says, "She gave me a ride."

"Oh," I say, "is this your friend?"

She gets a genuinely surprised look on her face... with a hint of confusion. "Um, HELLO? This is my sister? Can't you tell?"

For her to think that she looks anything like her hottie sister... I don't know... someone has been really, really dishonest with her. Probably a boyfriend or her mother.

Kindie Garten

This time of year it seems like there are hundreds of family blogs announcing the first day of school for their child. I'm doing the same thing, except with a couple of entertaining photo's to go along with it.

The first one is when Betsy was getting Ty out of the van upon their arrival to school. The second photo is in the hallway outside the classroom door (you can see backpacks hanging on hooks in the background). Betsy said it was pretty sad, but she HAD to get a photo even though he was having himself a little conniption fit.

Luckily the second day was great and it's been great all week. Whew.