Mathematics

Math has never been one of my strong suits. I haven't taken a math class in about 15 years. My last math class was when I was a sophomore in High School and I took Geometry. I don't remember much about that class because there was a dude in there who was always trying to pick a fight with me. I spent most of my time worrying about whether he was going to punch me in the face after class than I did focusing on the teacher.

So anyway, I just spent about an hour arguing with one of my coworkers about a story problem that has confused me for the last two decades. You've probably heard it, but the story problem goes like this:

Three guys go to a hotel and get a room for $15, paying $5 each. After they get to their room, the manager thinks, "I think I may have overcharged those three guys." So he gives the bellhop $5 and tells him to take it up to the guys as a refund. Halfway to the room, the bellhop thinks, "Since $5 can't be split three ways, I'll just take $2." So he puts two dollars in his pocket and gives each of the three guys a $1 refund.

So now each of the three guys has only paid $4... totaling 12$. The bellhop has $2 in his pocket which makes $14. Where's the other dollar?

I've told this story to dozens of people over the years. Usually we laugh and then talk about how stupid math is and how if "math" was a mortal entity, we would have stabbed it repeatedly, placed it in a gunny sack and thrown it into a large body of water after securing it to a heavy object of some sort.

But every once in a while (like today) I'll tell the story and someone will think they can explain to me where that missing dollar went. My coworker just spent at least 60 minutes trying to tell me about how it's a "play on words" and how Asians engage in this type of reckless tomfoolery --

*break* Ok. I'm not lying. My coworker just came back in here while I was typing this blog and spent another 15 minutes trying to explain this to me. I kept telling him to get out of my office and he said, "I will as soon as you acknowledge there's no such thing as a mathematical impossibility." So I agreed with him, but then he sat down and started talking about "actual reality" and "perceived reality". Then he started in on the difference between what the patrons actually paid versus what they thought they paid. Criminy! I had this exact conversation with my dad 10 years ago!

This is what I'm talking about. The story is fun to tell. The way the story is told is what I love about it. Of course something goes wrong with the way it's told. No argument there. My coworker actually drew some notes on the back of my appointment cards and some post-its in an attempt to illustrate. I wish I had a scanner here at work so I could attach these sweet visual aids. It would increase the entertainment value of this tale.

The best part is that I have a job where coworkers can have long meaningless conversations about virtually nothing. In fact, at one point my supervisor chimed in and said, "If the guys gave the $3 back to the bellhop then all the money is accounted for." That was his solution.